Salesgirl: Sir, you can’t smoke here.
Customer: ButI bought this cigar from your store.
Salesgirl: Hello? We also sell condoms but it doesn’t mean you can fuck here.
Sometimes, what you want isn’t always what you get
But in the end,
What you get is so much better than what you wanted
Because God always gives you
What is best!
Giving Up Wine…
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, ‘If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?’
‘No, I had to stop drinking years ago’, the homeless woman told me.
‘Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?’ I asked.
‘No, I don’t waste time shopping,’ the homeless woman said. ‘I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.’
‘Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?’ I asked.
‘Are you NUTS!’ replied the homeless woman. ‘I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.’
The homeless Woman was shocked. ‘Won’t your husband be furious with you fo r doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.’
I said, ‘That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.’ 
